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| If you and forty of your closest friends go to the drive-in to see The Dukes of Hazzard on opening weekend... You might be a redneck. |
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| All the rednecks showed up for this one... Wait a minute! Where's Izzy? |  |
| I don't see Izzy or Dean. I think they both should lose their Hillbillys-R-Us discount cards! Looks like Allie is trying out for a Loreal commercial, though. |
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| Roscoe, Enos and Daisy before they all did hood-slides across the front of Debo's truck. It was a little too high for a first attempt. |  |
| Kelly wore her "I Love Tom Wopat" baby-doll underwear. |  |
| Back at the hacienda for cards and beverages. Jack looks a bit short-stacked and I think I may be shitting my pants. |  |
| We stole the cigarette from between Tim's fingers. He didn't notice for 15 minutes. |  |
| T-Roy ended up the big winner of the first game. Luckily I was able to convince him that the 1st winner had to buy everybody back in for game two. House rules. |  |
| Somewhere in Las Vegas there's a used car dealership missing a salesman. |  |
| Nicoli has one of the Lance Armstrong bracelets on. Did you know he walked on the moon but never pulled three and a half g's? |  |
| Oh shit. There goes the neighborhood! |  |
| When he wasn't looking, Bailey chewed off Jay's left testicle and buried it behind him. |  |
| I feel pretty, oh so pretty. |  |
| Lisa pretended to pass out hoping one of the many horny bastards at the house would try and take advantage of her. There were no takers. |  |
| I'm likin' the big floppy hat. It makes me look sophisticated-sexy, don't ya think? |  |
| Spongebob was stalking Chad and it was feaking him out a bit. |  |
| Jay was so thirsty he resorted to sucking up Nicoli's ass sweat through a straw. |  |
| Lisa finally had somebody fall for the passed out charade. Too bad for her they didn't have a dick. |  |
| Jay was keeping tabs on how long until McDonald's starting serving breakfast. He kept shouting "One Hour and Twelve Minutes until McDonalds". It was getting a little irritating. |  |
| Jenna and Kim went out back to toss the ball around a bit in preperation for the morning's football game. Kim pulled a Charlie Brown on jenna and yanked the ball away just as she was gonna kick it. |  |
| Lisa really did pass out this time. She's lookin' a little pale. |  |
| Jay couldn't pass up the opportunity so he wiped the ass-sweat from his lips and went and got the mustard. |  |
| Looks like a Chinese man wandered up and rubbed one out on Lisa's face. |  |
| It's on! Me Jack and Lindsey Vs. Jenna, Kim and Plastic Man. |  |
| 1st and goal. Jay was still looking for the testicle that Bailey chewed off earlier. |  |
| Jenna "flopped" it away just inches from the end zone. |  |
| Drawing up the play. It's a crossing pattern. A sure-fire touchdown. |  |
| Lindsey running barefoot on the rock, jukes and puts Jenna off-balance. Touchdown! |  |
| Turns out we we're playing strip-football. The victors enjoy the spoils of scoring first. Wonder why we're laughing? Check this out. |
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| This is exactly what it looks like. Fuckin' George gave Jenna a serious wedgie and Kim had to bite her out of it. |  |
| With the one side taken care of, they had to pull them down through the other leg. It's a two-man operation. |  |
| Success! You know it's funny... Normally it's extremely easy to get Jenna's pants off. |  |
| Kim's turn. What the hell are you doing, George? Tickling her knee-cap? |  |
| French Manicured fingernails around a lacey thong. We need John Madden and the Telestrator for this. |  |
| Goerge has a chubby. Givin' himself a little package check. |  |
| His Mom and Dad must be so proud. |  |
| Kim and Jenna still have issues from when they were younger. They have Stretch Armstrong envy. Do ya think Jenna's thong has the same stuff that's inside Stretch Armstrong? |
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| Back to the game. But first... George licks the wax from Jen's ear for a protien boost. |  |
| Would you look at my vertical leap? That's gotta be a good 3 or 4 inches off the ground. Friggin' George and his freakishly long arms. He can stand in the middle of the lawn and cover the whole field. Prick! |
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| I got it! These are awesome action shots. Props to Single D for these. |  |
| Look at George! His fucking arms are taller than the roof. Freak! |  |
| Okay. so Team Thong-less scored and it was our turn to strip. Lindsey wore my big floppy hat and I wore her tank top. Sort of. |  |
| Wasn't I wearing shorts in the last picture? Glad I didn't decide to go Commando that morning. |  |
| Lindsey had the "Ellie May" thing working for the next drive. But friggin' Plastic Man decided to go postal; hip-checking his own girlfriend to the ground and then.... |  |
| Slamming Jack into the patio support post. George has issues. Maybe it's that whole deviated septum thing and it's screwing with his common sense. Prick! |  |
| So here we are trying to figure out how to contain Plastic Man. Prick! Even Lindsey was looking for some blood to be spilled. The play was to have Lindsey sit on him while Jack and I pissed on his deviated septum. |
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| Jack's shoulder from where he met with the patio support. Way to go George! Asshole! |  |
| Finally, the mass quantities caught up with Jenna and she had to find a place to hurl. |  |
| When she finished calling Bob on the big white phone, Jenna used the football to wipe off the remainder from her mouth. |  |
| Huddle up! Lindsey you run a 10 yard post route. Jack you run out 15 yards and curl outside. Me? I'm gonna have a smoke and wait for one of you to get open. |  |
| Plastic Man intercepted the pass with his freakishly long arms and Jenna attends to Lindsey who George left plastered back at the spot of the play. Tug Nut! |  |
| Next game of drunken, dawn, strip football... George isn't playing. |  |
| Kim has decided that the thongs need to be sacrificed to Thongo; The Hindu Goddess of Lingerie. |  |
| Just lighting the fabric wouldn't be enough however. She needed an accelerent. Hmmm? Alcohol! Kim promptly poured a beer over the sacrificial thongs. |  |
| It's hard to light underwear that has been soaked in beer. WE NEED KINDLING!! Of course, it had rained earlier and all of the kindling was wet as well. |
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| But perseverence has got to pay off, doesn't it? |  |
| Yes! We have fire! Thongo will not go unappeased. |  |
| Kim rejoices as the fruits of her labor burns on. |  |
| Looking back on this I'm wondering if the beer was just a cover up of the fact that the thongs were too moist to burn in the first place. |  |
